1. |
Rainbow
03:07
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Blue is not just for people with willies
Pink is not just for people with flaps
Purple is not just for people who don't get much sexual action
Paisley is not just for that psychedelically inclined hippy person
We can all enjoy the rainbow with out being a homo
A guy can embrace the entire spectrum
without taking it in his rectum...
but if he does - I still respect him
To the mothers and fathers of the world
If you have a precious little girl
Let her express the way she choses
It might mean she likes blue
There's nothing that makes me more annoyed
Than people who steer their little boys
Away from the sparkles and tutus
We can all enjoy the rainbow without being a homo
A girl can enjoy a colour of any tinge
Without loving the minge
Or shaving a patch out of her fringe
But if she does I'm not going to whinge
Oh no! Oh no Bruce - get Jayden away
Get him away from those pink balloons
They're turning him gay!
Oh no! Sally wants to play with GI Joe
Better watch out or she might become a big lesbo
We can all enjoy the rainbow without being a homo
If girls can have pink and boys can have blue
Then what is
An intersex person who's making a transition from male to female and doesn't identify with either gender or particularly care for what we like to call gender neutral colours like yellow and green
gonna do?
So, blue is not just for people with willies
Pink is not just for people with flaps
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2. |
Housemates
03:19
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Why do I always get stuck with crazy housemates?
I don't get it, am I a crazy housemate magnet?
They seem so normal at the beginning it seems great
But the next minute they are talking to the TV cabinet
I used to think I was a good judge of character
But now I realise that my perceptions may be blurred
Maybe the world is trying to teach me with some kind of karma
Or maybe deep down I'm just addicted to the drama
I can't handle one more person trying to finger paint on the carpet on their knees
I can't handle one more person knocking on my door crying cos they found their keys
No I won't hide your valium
No I don't have no weed
No I won't listen to your little tantrum
No I don't have no speed
Why do I always attract the crazy housemates?
All I ask is that my home is a relaxed space
I'm not responsible for organising rehab
Or cleaning up the mess from incidents that you've had
I think it's probable that you should be on medication
The fact that you are not is making me very impatient
I wanna be able to sit and relax in the loungeroom
Instead of sitting hiding writing little songs about you
I can't handle one more person stealing all of my clothes and pretending that they bought them
I can't handle one more conversation about kinky sexual practices like places you've inserted things
No I won't count your calories
No I won't buy your food
No I won't try your herbal remedies
No I won't dump your boyfriend for you
I'm sick of having all these fucking crazy housemates
I'm telling you that I would trade them with you any day
I wanna get home and be greeted with a smile
And not be greeted by someone who's suicidal
Hiding in my bedroom used to be the only escape
But it's getting really smelly in here
And there's a build up of tea cups that need to be cleared away
Can't you see, can't you understand why I'm feeling this wa
I guess it's hard to think of other people
Through your drunken haze
Why do I always get stuck with crazy housemates?
I don't get it, am I a crazy housemate magnet?
They seem so normal at the beginning it seems great
But the next minute they are talking to the TV cabinet
Having a conversation with the TV cabinet yeah
Thats All.
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3. |
Unicorn
03:40
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Oh I've seen things others have not seen
And been places no one else has been
Ventured through the sky into the dawn
Because I am a unicorn
I am a unicorn
I am a unicorn
Hoofs of silver, mane of gold
no one would guess I'm a thousand years old
Oh the wind rustles through my nostrils
I can smell time
My body so muscular from prancing through the clouds
Over the moon beams I whinny out loud
My eyes they glisten with the innocence of youth
And my horn
My horn is magic too
I am a unicorn
I am a unicorn
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4. |
Bowlcuts
03:56
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The greatest thing in life is the freedom to express yourself
That's what I truly believe
But it grieves me to say that it can't always be this way
When you express yourself like me
Oh there's one thing in this world that can bring me such joy
It can cure all my sadness and fill up my soul
And all I really need is a willing girl or boy
And a little pair of scissors and a big mixing bowl
All I wanna do is give people bowl cuts
Seriously, is that too much to ask?
All I wanna do is give people bowl cuts
Make them so beautiful
And accepted in society
Imagine a thick healthy crop of straight follicles
Carefully sculpted using a bowl as a template
Is there really anything in this life that's more magical?
Feel the breath of the wind on your neck, it's so wonderful
I don't understand why there's no line around my block
For my sweet subtle fingers to dishevel your locks
Just let me at your cranium, I'll show you what I'm made of and
The bowlcut will forever be the hairdo that you'll rock
All I wanna do is give people bowl cuts
Seriously, is that too much to ask?
All I wanna do is give people bowl cuts
Make them so beautiful
And fit in with all the cool kids at school
Clearly I can't give one to myself
Cos my beauty would be overwhelming
And your heads would explode
And tell me how am I supposed to give you ultimate beauty
When you're heads have all exploded
Oh.
The bowlcut is the way of the future
The bowlcut is a symbol of peace
The bowlcut will bring enemies together
It knows no religion or sexuality
All I wanna do is give people bowl cuts
Seriously is that too much to ask
All I wanna do is give people bowlcuts
Make them so beautiful
And make everyone around them drool
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5. |
Rat Tail
04:09
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There are many things in life that I would do
Things that won't make sense to you
Things you wouldn't want me to
There are many things i'm not supposed to take
But I would do it anyway
But there are just some things that you shouldn't even think of doing
Some terrible things, unspeakable things
Thinking about it makes my skin creep
Makes me sick and pale
You are an epic fail
When you've given your kid a rat tail
What the hell are they for anyway
What are you trying to say
Or did you miss a spot on haircut day
Is it for pulling your kid in the right direction
Or is it some kind of fashion slogan
Or maybe you are just a bogan
There are some unwritten laws that I just can't seem to ignore
If you wanted a tuft then that was your desicion
But did your kid give you the tuft permission
I'm guessing it wouldn't sail
You are an epic fail
When you've given your kid a rat tail
All the children running through the streets so oblivious and happy still
They have no idea that they look like small marsupials
Get your rat traps out and put some candy in it
Cos tonight I'm bringing home a rat child for dinner
It saddens me and make me deeply hurt
To see this haircut re-occur
I'd have thought you would have learnt
That boganhood at a young age has been said
To stunt your child's development
They'll never be president (no)
But don't you worry and don't you fret
I've got a pair of scissors in my pocket
Bring little Jayden here and we'll hold him down
You grab his legs so he doesn't move around
His little arms with flail
And for that tuft he'll wail
You are an epic fail
When you've given your kid a rat tail
When you've given your kid a rat tail
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6. |
Merman
02:34
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Oh I like to imagine
Oh I like to dream
About all the gay mermen
Under the sea
What would life be like as a gay merman
What would my morning routine include
How would I go about getting a tan
As a gay merman
I would imagine I'd quite like to party
I think I would be just a little bit arty
Grinding on the D-floor with the other gay mermen
The D-floor under the ocean
But life isn't perfect as a gay merman
We are a small community
And we have no legs and
People go out of their way to make semen jokes about me
When all I wanna do is grind on the D-floor
Under the sea
Oh I'm still undecided if this is the life for me
I'm still undecided if this is the life for me
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